Tag Archives: park

City Considering Facebook Users To Guard Canatara Park

Canatara Park - City of Sarnia

In the face of the rising costs of vandalism at Canatara and other parks maintained by the city, Sarnia Police and the parks department are looking to tap into Sarnia’s plentiful reservoir of important Facebook comments to resolve the issues easily and cheaply.

“We were looking for complicated solutions when the simplest ones were right in front of us,” said Deputy Police Chief Bob Farlow .

According to Farlow, the plan would assign several dozen individuals to a post somewhere in one of Sarnia’s parks on a daily basis, where they are instructed to solve all the vandalism problems in their area according to advice they’ve given in their own Facebook comments on the matter.

Farlow said “Everyone in Sarnia with a Facebook account knows exactly who is responsible for all the problems and how to fix it, and they’re so quick and reliable in letting us know. We’re just cutting out the middle man and letting them handle it.”

Dozens of Facebook comments have filled community pages since the city began talks to tackle the problem, individuals offering detailed advice on how to stop the vandalism.

“I’d just hang them upside down by their toes” – Robert Fraser.

“Where are their mothers?? I’d just drag their mothers down there and make them explain what they did!” – Elaine Foster

“I don’t understand why someone from the city can’t just go and sit near each building around the clock and catch them in the act and PANTS THEM!” – Jim Smith. 

“WHY!?!?! STOP! SARNIAS SO STUPID” – Jennifer McDonald

“This is what happens when you don’t teach kids cursive writing and tell them its ok to wear shorts in a learning environment” – Bill Vandermeer


Beth Gignac, Sarnia Parks and Recreation Director said “The citizens are an untapped resource of really smart ideas and skills that a well-funded, well-staffed municipality could never compete with and we should have thought to use them sooner.”

“Safe Lunch” Location Discovered in Centennial Park

Picnic spot at Sarnia's Centennial Park

A possible prime picnicking location In the midst of a popular, “toxin-enriched” park at Sarnia’s waterfront has been discovered.

Sarnia City Manager and renowned MS Paint expert Lloyd Fennell has always been a fan of the idea of eating lunch near the waterfront, but says he’s long lamented the lack of a safe and suitable location to do so.

“I’ve wanted to sit on the grass and eat my lunch at Centennial Park for years,” Fennell said. “It’s been frustrating though. Every time I bring in consultants to investigate a new possible picnic spot, they tell me I shouldn’t eat my lunch there and that I should probably see a doctor.”

Fennell claimed he was ready to give up on his dream when he had a change in luck.

“I was exasperated. I leaned up against a tree while I contemplated the many years spent looking for a picnic spot that wasn’t deeply hazardous to my health,” he said. “It suddenly occurred to me that this very small spot underneath the tree had not yet been tested and it’s looking like it might just be the spot I’ve been looking for.”

Consultants had advised Fennell that while he should wait for more conclusive results, the best course of action may be to roll out a small blanket and enjoy a submarine sandwich.

The cost of the project is currently unknown and council was not available for comment.