A possible prime picnicking location In the midst of a popular, “toxin-enriched” park at Sarnia’s waterfront has been discovered.
Sarnia City Manager and renowned MS Paint expert Lloyd Fennell has always been a fan of the idea of eating lunch near the waterfront, but says he’s long lamented the lack of a safe and suitable location to do so.
“I’ve wanted to sit on the grass and eat my lunch at Centennial Park for years,” Fennell said. “It’s been frustrating though. Every time I bring in consultants to investigate a new possible picnic spot, they tell me I shouldn’t eat my lunch there and that I should probably see a doctor.”
Fennell claimed he was ready to give up on his dream when he had a change in luck.
“I was exasperated. I leaned up against a tree while I contemplated the many years spent looking for a picnic spot that wasn’t deeply hazardous to my health,” he said. “It suddenly occurred to me that this very small spot underneath the tree had not yet been tested and it’s looking like it might just be the spot I’ve been looking for.”
Consultants had advised Fennell that while he should wait for more conclusive results, the best course of action may be to roll out a small blanket and enjoy a submarine sandwich.
The cost of the project is currently unknown and council was not available for comment.