Tag Archives: city council

City Council Explores Use Of Typewriters

Typewriter - Sarnia Post

Sarnia city councillors may soon find themselves sifting through a stack of neatly typed paper instead of unwrapping dozens of scrolls every month.

“With today’s post-industrial revolution realities, providing people-sized piles of of hand-inked parchment for every agenda and budget may not be the most effective way to share information in a timely, convenient and inexpensive manner,” wrote City Coun. Brian White in a notice of motion presented at a council meeting this past Monday.

White proposed that city staff investigate and compare the costs of using parchment and hand-mixed inks to the use of typewriters and paper. Staff are also tasked with determining if there are alternatives to training carrier pigeons and carrying chests of parchment by hand to councillor homes.

Some councillors are less than happy about the idea.

“I tried to use one of them typewriters last year, but it was new to me and I didn’t like it so I went back to telling our scribes to craft everything for me by hand” said city/county Coun. Dave Boushy.

“Typewriters might cost a lot of money, we should just tell staff to write faster,” he said.

City/county Coun. Andy Bruziewicz expressed concerns as well.

“If we go ahead with typewriters, maybe next month they will be telling us to replace our abacus with a calculator,” he said. “We should draw the line somewhere.”


Sarnia Council Seeks Answers From Egg Hunt

Sarnia Easter In The Park - Egg Hunt

Are the best laid plans sometimes actually “laid?”

This Saturday is Sarnia’s annual Easter In The Park, a family event scheduled every year for the holiday weekend. The popular “egg hunt” activity will bring about something new this year…

After a year of rising tensions and heated rhetoric surrounding a number of controversial local issues and unpopular decisions, city council decided they would stop making their own decisions and would instead place various proposals and solutions in plastic eggs that are to be hidden in the park. Whichever ideas are found and collected will be tallied and rolled into decisions made on several pressing and future issues.

“Why bother anymore?” asks Coun. Bev Macdougall.  “No matter what we decide, we get it wrong and it’s probably time we let some of our young people decide for us.”

“We still want to ultimately make all the decisions but I want to be in control,” Coun. Terry Burrell said. “I’ve personally made sure I like all the possible outcomes that have been hidden in the eggs and placed my favourite ones in plain sight.”

Bradley Davis, 6, says “It will be fun to find all the answers the old people are looking for.”

The egg hunt will begin around 10 am on Saturday in Canatara Park.

Judge Rules In Favour Of Throwing Homeless In River

Judge Rules In Favour Of Throwing Local Homeless In The River

Local advocates for the less fortunate may soon find themselves collecting life jackets.

In a decision made public last week, Superior Court Justice Thomas Carey ruled in favour of the City of Sarnia’s request to gather up all individuals experiencing homelessness in the area and throw them in the St. Clair river.

“It is clear to me that the citizens of Sarnia did good by allowing these homeless people to stay on land for so long, but rules are rules and it does convene a municipal bylaw,” Carey stated.

A group of local advocates  had been petitioning city council to allow the homeless individuals to continue to live on solid ground, offering their own property, churches and apartments as a place for them to stay. City council voted against them, citing the “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” bylaw that requires lower-class and homeless people to remain hidden from residential neighbourhoods and a petition from an individual who received 250 signatures from local citizens after convincing them that “these people will come for your kids!”

Advocates maintain that civil and human rights of both the homeless and those trying to help them are being violated, but Justice Carey disagrees.

“It is not my opinion that anyone’s rights were violated, but then again, I didn’t actually read the argument presented by the group, that was a lot of pages to read in just a few months.”

Coun. Terry Burrell applauded the decision. “They’ve had their fun, now let’s take care of this problem,” he said.

In Carey’s statement, it was also suggested that the homeless are not thrown into the river before all ice has melted as it could make it easier for them to climb out of the river, and that they should learn how to not rely on others.



Sarnia Exhausts 2014 Snow Removal Budget

Sarnia Exhausts Snow Removal Budget

Sarnia residents may soon find themselves stuck at home unless they own a snow mobile.

As of today, the city has depleted funds earmarked for snow removal in the 2014 winter season. $1,500 was set aside by city council and all of it has been used this week.

“We expected maybe a couple of slippery stairs from freezing rain or something and purchased some salt but we didn’t expect much snow,” said Sarnia director of finance Brian McKay.

“We could have anticipated a need to budget for plowing and maintenance this winter, but that didn’t seem necessary… why is it snowing so much in Canada in January?”

Council will hold a public meeting atop a snow bank at the city works department next Thursday evening to discuss the possibility of just giving up for the rest of the winter and collectively hibernating.

Burrell Wants More Fluoride, Cold Medicine

Coun. Terry Burrell

While several Sarnia council members and citizens agree on a more cautious attitude toward the controversial fluoridation of public drinking water, one councillor is pushing back.

Coun. Terry Burrell says he is not only against the removal of fluoride, but wants to add more to our water supply.

“Forget all of this, we need more fluoride,” said Burrell. “Fluoride and cold medicine.”

Burrell went on to explain that he wishes to see the amount of fluoride in public water increased by five hundred percent. He also wishes to see over-the-counter cold medicine added to local water in bulk.

“Who cares what studies or science you’ve found, you’re all a bunch of amateur sleuths,” Burrell shouted at numerous times throughout the last night’s city council meeting.

“The lady at the Wal-Mart pharmacy told me this is stuff is just great, and so did all the other pharmacies in town,” said Burrell. “If you can get all these organizations to come forward and say it should be out of there, then fine I’ll listen.”

Burrell was visibly upset for the entire duration of last night’s council meeting and according to some, muttered obscene language and obscure threats involving calculators and finger injuries when council voted 5-4 against the continued fluoridation. Sarnia’s vote isn’t enough to remove fluoride from the Lambton Area Water Supply System (LAWSS) but this pleases Coun. Burrell greatly.

Mayor Bradley’s Sweater Shipment Resumes


After facing council-imposed delays earlier in the year, an order for a large shipment of 300 men’s red turtleneck shirts has been placed on behalf of Sarnia’s Mayor Mike Bradley.

Bradley originally called for a purchase of the long-sleeved shirts in January, citing what he feared would be a prolonged winter and what he described as “a need to remain warm and stylish in a cold 1989”. City council disregarded concerns that the mayor didn’t appear to be aware of the present year but called for an emergency discussion regarding the expenditure on January 15th.

“I like the colour”, stated Coun. Anne Marie Gillis. “We simply cannot afford to buy 300 sweaters for the mayor right now though. Perhaps we could manage a couple hundred of them.”

Others were less impressed.

“Shirts? Who needs shirts? Nobody deserves shirts…”  Coun. Terry Burrell said.
“The city doesn’t have the funds for such unnecessary luxuries and I’m surprised the mayor would even wear a shirt during a time like this.”

Council had successfully voted on a motion to delay the purchase of the turtlenecks at the time. However, after the winter temperatures far months turned out to be prolonged as Bradley had been concerned about, council turned it around this week and permitted the immediate order of shirts.

Bradley seemed content with the decision.
“I was disappointed it took so long, but I am pleased that council has realized the importance of remaining warm while looking good.”