Tag Archives: canatara

City Considering Facebook Users To Guard Canatara Park

Canatara Park - City of Sarnia

In the face of the rising costs of vandalism at Canatara and other parks maintained by the city, Sarnia Police and the parks department are looking to tap into Sarnia’s plentiful reservoir of important Facebook comments to resolve the issues easily and cheaply.

“We were looking for complicated solutions when the simplest ones were right in front of us,” said Deputy Police Chief Bob Farlow .

According to Farlow, the plan would assign several dozen individuals to a post somewhere in one of Sarnia’s parks on a daily basis, where they are instructed to solve all the vandalism problems in their area according to advice they’ve given in their own Facebook comments on the matter.

Farlow said “Everyone in Sarnia with a Facebook account knows exactly who is responsible for all the problems and how to fix it, and they’re so quick and reliable in letting us know. We’re just cutting out the middle man and letting them handle it.”

Dozens of Facebook comments have filled community pages since the city began talks to tackle the problem, individuals offering detailed advice on how to stop the vandalism.

“I’d just hang them upside down by their toes” – Robert Fraser.

“Where are their mothers?? I’d just drag their mothers down there and make them explain what they did!” – Elaine Foster

“I don’t understand why someone from the city can’t just go and sit near each building around the clock and catch them in the act and PANTS THEM!” – Jim Smith. 

“WHY!?!?! STOP! SARNIAS SO STUPID” – Jennifer McDonald

“This is what happens when you don’t teach kids cursive writing and tell them its ok to wear shorts in a learning environment” – Bill Vandermeer

“MAYBE IF YOU LEGALIZE, PEOPLE WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO DO AND PUT POLICE OUT OF BIZNESS” – Sean Laker.

Beth Gignac, Sarnia Parks and Recreation Director said “The citizens are an untapped resource of really smart ideas and skills that a well-funded, well-staffed municipality could never compete with and we should have thought to use them sooner.”

Public Washrooms Still Too Convenient, Will Remain Closed

City of Sarnia and Point Edward staff have coordinated efforts to ensure that public washrooms  in local parks and public spaces will remain closed for several more weeks. A joint project was initiated last year to study park and washroom usage patterns, which officials say will help them in budgeting maintenance for the next couple of years.

While citizens continue to bolt from parking lot to parking lot, wiggling locked washroom door handles and blanketing public spaces with curse words, personal anxiety and urine driblets, staffers  are betting on their data.

“The last thing we want to do is open the restrooms for public use when people are actually using these public spaces,” explained Roger Locke of the Sarnia Parks and Recreation Department.

“We’re looking to open them all right at that sweet spot when people give up checking to see if they are open or not, which will hopefully be a couple days before we can close them for the cold months again.”