Category Archives: News

New School Mascot Is Literally A Salvaged Copper Pipe

Following the closure of SCI&TS, Sarnia’s new combined high school has chosen its mascot and colours.

The Urban Decay will represent Great Lakes Secondary School in various shades of brown, red and grey.

“Urban Decay affects all of us, its tendrils reaching into our lives little by little, revealing the inevitability of our own folly over our lives as high school students,” said May Branding, co-chair of the identity committee that developed the name and colours.

The mascot, named “Copper,” has special meaning to the students and community.

“We’re reminded that we need to find solace in each other until the end of our days, and the copper pipe mascot represents the value we can find in the ruins all around us, in each other… that it can feed us just long enough that we may become adults, university applicants and living echoes of an economy that ate itself alive long before our time. ”



Man Insists On Using Sidewalk, Traffic Signals During Artwalk

Artwalk - Downtown Sarnia - Traffic Lights

Several downtown Sarnia streets have been partially blocked off since Friday night as Artwalk kicks off and the streets fill with vendors, performers and pedestrians, but one pedestrian still respects the rules.

Don Bowman was visiting from Petrolia and was sure to remain on sidewalks and obey all pedestrian rules as if there was no Artwalk at all.

“It’s crazy, nobody will move out of my way, the sidewalks are full of people just standing there,” said Don Bowman of Petrolia.

Sarnian Brad Thomas was watching a performance where he said he witnessed Mr. Bowman wait for a walk signal at the Davis & Christina St. traffic lights before crossing toward him on the sidewalk.

“I don’t know what his problem was, this old man just kind of stood there staring at me on the sidewalk, he could have just walked around the crowd through the street,” said Brad.

Before leaving, Mr. Bowman insisted that pedestrians need to respect what he called the “rules of society.”

“It’s this kind of thing that leads to pandemonium, someone’s going to get hurt! Maybe I’ve had enough so-called art for one day.”

Artwalk made its 14th annual return to Sarnia’s downtown, continuing through Saturday and Sunday

Couple Gives Up On Fresh Air Due To Full Parking At Bridge

Parking lot under Bluewater Bridge in Point Edward

After being stuck inside at work and home for several days, a local couple decided it was time for some fresh air. What they did not expect to find was a full parking lot under the Bluewater Bridge.

“It was pretty disappointing,” said Josie Brown.

“We really just wanted some sunshine but everyone in Sarnia had the same idea.”

Brett, Josie’s husband, said “It’s like everyone thinks the only place they can go enjoy the outdoors is at a paved parking lot near the river.”

“I don’t know when we’re going to have another chance to go outside like that, it’d be nice if someone left room for our truck once in awhile at our special spot near the river.”

Rather than wait for several other couples to leave, the couple immediately returned home and watched shows about nature on Netflix.

Man Finally Gets To Show Adults Cool Treehouse Plans

A new vision for Bayside Mall

After decades of yanking on pant legs and pleading with grownups to look at his drawing, a man finally has their attention.

Several downtown residents and business owners attended an information session Monday night where plans were unveiled by a developer who recently acquired the Bayside Centre and five surrounding properties.

“It’s really cool, I think they think it’s cool too, because climbing into a tree house and going inside where you putted all your stuff is cool,” said Gordon Laschinger of Wilsondale Assets Management.

The drawing took two entire recesses at school, explained Laschinger.

“Before nobody would look when I showed it to them, but now that we bought half of downtown with some of our own money, all the adults near by have to look at my picture of it and it’s really fun.”

Laschinger is confident in the plans, but remains open to feedback.

“Some of the big people didn’t like all my ideas but we made it better for them and they might like it now,” he said.

Sarnia Candidate Was Worried Signs Weren’t Big Enough

Sarnia’s newest MP is grateful for the hard work her signs have done, even if she was skeptical.

“I missed a bunch of debates and I had nothing meaningful to say when I did make them. I didn’t know if enough people would see my name next to the Conservative logo and wish we went bigger but I’m just thrilled that it worked out for me,” Conservative candidate Marilyn Gladu said.

Before last night’s election results came in with 41% of the vote in favour of Gladu, Sarnia-Lambton’s next MP was worried that many voters had actually been paying attention to her campaign.

“I hoped people would just stand in awe of my massive signs… I know I said some stupid things and our National team was completely horrible to the public, but I was hoping the good people of Sarnia didn’t notice how abusive Harper’s government had really been,” said Gladu.  “Thank goodness for our electoral system, the other fifty-nine percent that voted against me won’t have anyone to represent their pesky ideas of equality and civil rights in Ottawa.”


Public Washrooms Still Too Convenient, Will Remain Closed

City of Sarnia and Point Edward staff have coordinated efforts to ensure that public washrooms  in local parks and public spaces will remain closed for several more weeks. A joint project was initiated last year to study park and washroom usage patterns, which officials say will help them in budgeting maintenance for the next couple of years.

While citizens continue to bolt from parking lot to parking lot, wiggling locked washroom door handles and blanketing public spaces with curse words, personal anxiety and urine driblets, staffers  are betting on their data.

“The last thing we want to do is open the restrooms for public use when people are actually using these public spaces,” explained Roger Locke of the Sarnia Parks and Recreation Department.

“We’re looking to open them all right at that sweet spot when people give up checking to see if they are open or not, which will hopefully be a couple days before we can close them for the cold months again.”

Sarnia Parents Furious Sex-Ed Curriculum Is Reasonable

Ontario Sex-Ed Curriculum

A local family is furious with the latest change in Ontario education. After waiting for this week’s announcement, Sarnia parents Richard & Margaret Sanderson are not pleased.

On Monday, the Ontario government released the long-awaited updates to the K-12 Health and Physical Education Curriculum. Included in the newly-updated sexual education curriculum are highly contentious topics like healthy relationships, how to say no to unwanted advances, the dangers of ‘sexting’, and learning about STIs and sexual health a whole whopping year or two before kids share school halls with 18 year old students.

Margaret said that her and her husband Richard had booked a day off from their respective jobs so that they could travel to a protest in Queen’s Park and are now angry and conflicted.

“We were told they were going to teach our kids all kinds of nasty sexual stuff starting in Kindergarten,” said Richard.

“These Liberals think they can just do whatever they want and waited until we had made plans to release a curriculum that is totally reasonable and will probably help young people avoid getting hurt or worse.”

Margaret is concerned that the government has unfairly consumed her time and attention.

“I’ve signed petitions and sent dozens of emails to my family, friends and church and now what am I supposed to do? Tell them I was wrong? I’m appalled and angry.”

Richard and Margaret believe they may now attend the protest as a means of sharing their frustration with the tame nature of the curriculum.


City Council Explores Use Of Typewriters

Typewriter - Sarnia Post

Sarnia city councillors may soon find themselves sifting through a stack of neatly typed paper instead of unwrapping dozens of scrolls every month.

“With today’s post-industrial revolution realities, providing people-sized piles of of hand-inked parchment for every agenda and budget may not be the most effective way to share information in a timely, convenient and inexpensive manner,” wrote City Coun. Brian White in a notice of motion presented at a council meeting this past Monday.

White proposed that city staff investigate and compare the costs of using parchment and hand-mixed inks to the use of typewriters and paper. Staff are also tasked with determining if there are alternatives to training carrier pigeons and carrying chests of parchment by hand to councillor homes.

Some councillors are less than happy about the idea.

“I tried to use one of them typewriters last year, but it was new to me and I didn’t like it so I went back to telling our scribes to craft everything for me by hand” said city/county Coun. Dave Boushy.

“Typewriters might cost a lot of money, we should just tell staff to write faster,” he said.

City/county Coun. Andy Bruziewicz expressed concerns as well.

“If we go ahead with typewriters, maybe next month they will be telling us to replace our abacus with a calculator,” he said. “We should draw the line somewhere.”


Joe The Cat Needs Help Escaping Justice

Joe The Cat - Armed Robbery footage

Joe the cat wants your help again after being the subject of an investigation into a series of armed robberies and a possible case in court.

Early Tuesday morning, a post was made to his Facebook page, imploring fans to support him financially and sign a petition calling for the criminal code to be re-written to suit the needs of the cat.
“Everyone should gather outside the courthouse and sign the petition, telling the judge that we shouldn’t do court and just let me go, I’m just a little cat, meow!”

“Everyone should send me big bags of money so I can have food (20s only please!), send a message and I’ll tell you where to leave it for my little paws, meow!” the post continued.

According to the Facebook post, Joe had been slowly manipulated into committing a string of violent crimes and believes that the laws should be changed to continue to allow him to rob banks and convenience stores “because (he) said so and (he’s) just a cat”.

One follower left a comment,  asking if it was actually a human running the social media feed and if they were the ones in trouble rather than a cat and if they should call the police. The response was a singular “meow” followed by several vicious threats and comments from other fans.

The Sarnia feline was made famous after surviving abuse and 17 pellet wounds to the head and attracted a large social media following.