Category Archives: Entertainment

Pokémon Players Can’t Find Elusive Comms Strategy At City Hall

Pokémon Players Can't Find Elusive Communications Plan At City Hall - Sarnia

Pokémon Go was released to Canadians a few days ago, but Sarnia players have yet to locate a fabled communication strategy at City Hall.

“There are rumours that there’s supposed to be a plan around here for disseminating information between city departments and the public in a clear, complete and accessible manner,” said 18-year-old Kieran Clarke.

“…but all I kept finding were a lot of Pidgey and motions from council.”

Kieran’s 14-year-old sister, Sarah, says she’s confident they will find it eventually.

“I see rustling in the bushes on the app, and I see something on my tracking that must be a some kind of reasonable communication strategy… maybe we just need to use more lures or get more elected officials helping us.”

Kieran said “If all else fails, I guess we can keep catching council motions until we have enough to evolve them into a communication strategy in a few years – by then we’ll have enough experience to start taking things over for ourselves anyway.”

Man Insists On Using Sidewalk, Traffic Signals During Artwalk

Artwalk - Downtown Sarnia - Traffic Lights

Several downtown Sarnia streets have been partially blocked off since Friday night as Artwalk kicks off and the streets fill with vendors, performers and pedestrians, but one pedestrian still respects the rules.

Don Bowman was visiting from Petrolia and was sure to remain on sidewalks and obey all pedestrian rules as if there was no Artwalk at all.

“It’s crazy, nobody will move out of my way, the sidewalks are full of people just standing there,” said Don Bowman of Petrolia.

Sarnian Brad Thomas was watching a performance where he said he witnessed Mr. Bowman wait for a walk signal at the Davis & Christina St. traffic lights before crossing toward him on the sidewalk.

“I don’t know what his problem was, this old man just kind of stood there staring at me on the sidewalk, he could have just walked around the crowd through the street,” said Brad.

Before leaving, Mr. Bowman insisted that pedestrians need to respect what he called the “rules of society.”

“It’s this kind of thing that leads to pandemonium, someone’s going to get hurt! Maybe I’ve had enough so-called art for one day.”

Artwalk made its 14th annual return to Sarnia’s downtown, continuing through Saturday and Sunday

Sarnia Fission – Big Box Food & Retail Show Begins

Walmart - Sarnia Fission

Are you ready to achieve Fission?

The annual celebration of food and overseas goods from large corporate chain stores returns for the fifth time in Sarnia.

“There’s something for everybody, and all from the same old stores,” says Fission Organizer Samantha Tomlinson.

“People in Sarnia absolutely love that they can buy all the prepackaged foods they enjoy tolerating without ever having to participate in local markets or be burdened with defining their tastes or developing relationships with strangers.”

Fission will host several popular stores offering great deals and samples of oversweetened and oversalted boxed foods from the USA that every single person in North America has tried before. This year, Canadian Tire will be once again selling pre-broken automotive and home maintenance products and Walmart will offer volunteers to help patrons carry the “really big cases of pop that they need” to their vehicles. The Beer Store will be serving samples of Old Milwaukee and Coors for absolutely no sensible reason at all.

“It’s so great that they’re doing this, I don’t want to bother going into places where I have to spend a dollar more or talk to a business owner. Stores like Walmart allow me to buy clothes and food produced in the same oppressed country without having to be oppressed with involvement in my own community,” said repeat patron Margaret Davis.

“I heard there’s another event in town tonight where I could experience some new things and meet people from our region who are really showing off what local food and drink is all about. That sounds weird and uncomfortable, I’m familiar with Walmart and Sears.”

Fission, Sarnia’s big box retail corporation food festival starts tonight at 7 pm at the Walmart Garden Centre.

Sarnia Council Seeks Answers From Egg Hunt

Sarnia Easter In The Park - Egg Hunt

Are the best laid plans sometimes actually “laid?”

This Saturday is Sarnia’s annual Easter In The Park, a family event scheduled every year for the holiday weekend. The popular “egg hunt” activity will bring about something new this year…

After a year of rising tensions and heated rhetoric surrounding a number of controversial local issues and unpopular decisions, city council decided they would stop making their own decisions and would instead place various proposals and solutions in plastic eggs that are to be hidden in the park. Whichever ideas are found and collected will be tallied and rolled into decisions made on several pressing and future issues.

“Why bother anymore?” asks Coun. Bev Macdougall.  “No matter what we decide, we get it wrong and it’s probably time we let some of our young people decide for us.”

“We still want to ultimately make all the decisions but I want to be in control,” Coun. Terry Burrell said. “I’ve personally made sure I like all the possible outcomes that have been hidden in the eggs and placed my favourite ones in plain sight.”

Bradley Davis, 6, says “It will be fun to find all the answers the old people are looking for.”

The egg hunt will begin around 10 am on Saturday in Canatara Park.

First Friday: See Chad’s Band Tonight

Chad's Band to play at First Friday show

Once again it’s First Friday, where all manner of food, art and musical entertainment are enjoyed in Sarnia’s downtown area.

This week, you can see Chad’s Band play.

“We’re not so much a cover band, but more of a band that like…plays a lot of sort-of covers,” Chad said as he glanced over to Other Chad.

Other Chad’s performance is important to him.

“Yeah, we want to make sure that we are so loud that anyone who didn’t realize that bands might be playing tonight and decided to have a casual meal or drink with a friend can’t enjoy themselves,” he said. “They probably won’t want to pay attention to oddly timed versions of songs they ignore on the radio so it’s the only way to make them pay attention.”

“It’s also important that we take ourselves seriously enough that it’s off-putting,” Chad explained. “But just when people get comfortable with that though, we want to make sure we stop playing and start joking around to interrupt their conversations before we play another song twice as loud.”

First Friday events have been quite popular during the past couple years, though attendance seems to wax and wane a bit.

“Sometimes next to nobody shows up at our shows and we say we don’t care,” Chad said. “It is a bummer though and we don’t understand it because we send out like a thousand of those Facebook event invitation things… everyone pays attention to those.”

Chad (and Other Chad) can be seen playing for 15 minutes sometime between 8pm and Midnight tonight at that bar you usually walk past on your way to the bar you actually kind of like downtown Sarnia.

Sarnia Teen: “This Weekend Is Probably Going To Suck”

Brad thinks this weekend is "probably going to suck."

This weekend yields no expectations for one Sarnia teen.

Brad Thomas, 17, who has no hobbies, doesn’t play sports, has never been downtown or to the movies and has never left his home in Sherwood Village unless it was to see a doctor or go to school was recently heard telling a friend over the phone that “This weekend is probably going to suck,” according to his mother Jill whom he lives with.

“Yeah, there’s nothing to do,” Brad says. “Pretty much everything sucks.”

Jill Thomas told The Sarnia Post that she feels like she’s disappointed her son as a mother.

“I feel really bad because after birthing him and raising him, hiring a 24-7 chef to make him snacks and meals, buying him a car and ten thousand dollars worth of video games and inviting over a series of girls his age that I’ve carefully screened over many months, I’ve really done nothing to make sure Brad was being entertained.”

“I’ll probably just sleep,” said Brad. “I’ve been pretty busy and I’m really exhausted.”